I was listening to a podcast recently, with Jay Shetty and Mel Robbins, where they were talking about watching from the stands when you really wish that you were playing.The envy of sitting down, motionless, while other people are moving.  

I have always known that I wanted to be a writer, or that I wanted to make a difference in the wellness community. I would listen to podcasts of people talking about their experiences and having the realizations I was also simultaneously having. I would see young writers consistently posting their blogs and content, or even publishing books and I would feel my insides boil. There were times where I would tell people that I am a writer and feel like a fraud because I wasn’t writing. I knew that this feeling wasn’t because I wasn’t happy for the people doing this, it was because I was in the stands. I let the fear of failing keep me from trying at all. 

In Atomic Habits by James Clear, he talks about how to truly make something a habit then you have to make it part of your identity. And to make something a part of your identity, you have to practice it, or make it a habit. I will save us the “we are who we think we are” speech, because if you have read my blogs in the past, I fully stand on this. But my point now is that we can’t be who we say we are, if we aren’t giving ourselves the opportunity to be. Writers, write. Musicians, play. Teachers, teach. You get what I’m saying. 

It’s easy to be intimidated when a lot of people are doing similar things. Sometimes there is this overwhelming feeling of if there’re so many people trying to create, why would they want to read my work? My new answer to this is….why not? 

Art matters. Art actually matters more than most things. Being in creative spaces and with creative people is where I feel the most heard and understood. It makes me feel like my ideas are valued and received. When I realized that I could give that feeling to myself just by simply consistently creating, I had this overwhelming thought of- what am i waiting for? It’s so easy to look to the new year to create new habits and goals. But if you missed the New Year deadline, and now it is February, you don’t have to wait until next month or next year. Just start now. 

The second you stop thinking of yourself as someone who does something, and rather someone who is something (ex: I write vs I am a writer) your conception of yourself changes. You become the things that you love. You stand on who you know that you are because you have the evidence to prove it. I am here because I love to write. You are here because you want to read it, and that is enough for me. 

It’s important when you feel feelings of jealousy and envy to ask yourself why. What does this person have that I feel like I am missing? Am I feeling this because I am truly envious? OR am I feeling this because I know I am not putting in the work that I know I am worthy of. A lot of times it is the latter, and in that case you already know the answers for the next step. So if you feel as if you are sitting in the stands while other people are putting the work into your dreams this is your sign to start now. Not tomorrow, not next Monday, now. Because while you’re in the stands, there are plenty of people on the court.