I remember everything, 

I feel everything, 

I hold onto everything. 

Carrying it with me until I’m crawling-

the straw that broke the camels back, I suppose.

Everyone says that being 26 is unserious. 

“Have fun, nothing hurts, nothing matters.”

I have been writing this since they told me that at 18, in hopes of making it true. 

I’m having fun, everything hurts, everything matters.

If you looked inside me, you would see everything else I’ve collected since then. 

“The only way I won’t feel it is if I can’t see it” I tell myself.

But turns out I feel you the most when my eyes are closed.