Written by my mom, Danielle Corcoran

My daughter asked me to write a blog entry for her based on life in my 20’s. My twenties were spent finding different addresses through college and married life. I have never lived on my own. I went from living with my family in a small town, to college with roommates, to a married woman in my early twenties. I think my lessons and experiences are vastly different, as my generation was a different era of culture and community. No social media, the internet was just invented, computers weren’t a thing. I found when I thought about this, where I was living had a large impact on how I experienced life and grew as a young woman. We all develop our independence in different ways with our own unique experiences depending on where we are in the world. The people in each place also help shape us and add to our lives.   

” Choose the moves that make you happy and set you up for the next chapter. Keep people in your life to add to it and make you happy to be with them. Enjoy each phase of life you are in, even if it’s not perfect, because you’re only in it once. ”

Mount Pleasant (starting at age 18)

Dorm life at CMU was my first address out of living in Marshall, Mi. In the world of Girls Just Want to Have Fun, and Material Girl attitudes, these were amazing times. I honestly couldn’t believe my parents left me at a dorm at CMU living with 3 other young women. I had never been more excited or happy! All new friends, a new town, and a college campus I felt so comfortable exploring. The chance to navigate my own daily decisions, no curfew, going to class on campus with no GPS smartphone available, and just being my own boss. I felt the rush of freedom and immediately stepped into the role of college freshman. We call these years “the Glory Days.” I knew I was there to be a teacher so I was already way ahead of my roomies. We were 3 ladies who did not know each other before our first meeting. We came to rely on each other and give one another support when needed. We had such a great year we made a plan to live together the following year. I left the dorm after 2 years. I really wanted a house off campus but the thought of cooking my own meals kept me in the dorm for 2 years. This was my junior year and I was 20. My new address was a sorority house off campus living with 15 ladies. Now before you judge, I had found my second group of people my freshman year. My dad told me joining a Greek group was a great experience for him and I should give it a try. Low and behold, I found a great group of women who I really connected with from the start. We were from similar backgrounds and the Greek family was different and also a little like what you see in the movies. I never felt threatened, overshadowed, or judged by my sisters. I actually grew as a student and individual. I was involved in philanthropy opportunities, leadership roles, and the chance to contribute to the university. The biggest lesson here was to find my place in a large organization. You can sit on the sidelines or you can take a chance and lead. I was an officer in our organization and had the satisfaction of contributing. I graduated in four years but student teaching was ahead. 

Traverse City, MI 

Students teaching was a great learning opportunity. This new address had me in Traverse City and student teaching in Elk Rapids. My people here included my grandmother, aunts and uncles, and my boyfriend; who was living upstairs in the apartment in her house. Living with an elderly person does come with its challenges. My grandmother was the hardest working person around. She was 75 and hanging wallpaper and cleaning a huge in ground pool solo. Amazing. I could never keep up with her. This was my mother’s hometown and full of my extended family. This was a new era as all my fun female friends were either still at CMU or also graduated. It was time to rely on myself completely, figure out my new professional community, and move back in with my family. Definitely a new change. I have to say working for free has its drawbacks. The teachers I met at my internship were amazing and that sure helped. My boyfriend, soon to be fiancé, had to figure out his employment challenges. We each had a couple part time jobs to make ends meet. We enjoyed this address for a year as it grew our independence in so many ways. 

Galveston, TX

I was married soon after I turned 23. This was fairly normal back in the day.  We had to move to Texas to secure our first teaching jobs. We could have lived together, but we knew we wanted to be married. The people in this next address really changed my life. I thought I knew it all after I finished student teaching. I was a bit arrogant about my knowledge. John, my new husband, and I were so excited to begin our chapter. The staff we met at our new schools were amazing and impressive. We were working on Galveston Island which has either a low socioeconomic area or a rich neighborhood. There was no middle ground here. Our playground at school had a policeman sitting on a horse. There was no playground equipment or an outdoor recess for the students. There were no field trips. My students taught me so much about diversity and inclusion. My race was the minority race at this school. It was my first experience working in a bilingual and multi-racial classroom. My students lived on an island, and I discovered many of them had never been to the beach or played in the ocean. There were bullet holes on the street signs around my building. It was my first year of teaching (3rd grade) and also I believe, my most memorable. My island address changed my life in many ways. Our goal after this year was to return to Michigan as the Midwest was still home to us. Living in another state was a great experience. 

Battle Creek, MI 

There was no teacher shortage in Michigan in the early 90’s, but we were able to find jobs. John was hired first as he taught science which was more difficult to find. I ended up getting a job in my hometown. This was never my plan, to move back home, but where there is a job you go. Almost every person in my grade level at work was eligible for retirement. Now the people in this address were instrumental in giving me lessons about being a teacher and belonging to a union. This is where my educational political views were shaped. I began my 4th grade career here. I feel lucky looking back that I worked with  these experienced teachers. Some of the advice I received was gold. One of the best things that was said to me was, “This job is important and hard sometimes, but it’s not your life. Your family at home is.” I  worked nights and weekends and pursued my masters degree right away. My work people told me to get right on that. Financial people are so important. Many lessons at this address. We welcomed our first daughter in 1993. Samantha Suzanne made us parents at age 26.

Marshall, MI

This was the address that ended up being the final stop to date. The people we encountered here were largely met due to our family growing. Five years after Sam, we had our second daughter, Gracen. Our family was now complete! When you have children, you end up meeting so many wonderful people through them and their activities. You also gravitate to people with similar situations. You meet them in dance classes, preschool, neighborhood friends with children and also at work. Professionally in your 20’s you continue to grow. Personally, you have some other changes. Your priorities shift. You don’t always need to go out as much, but rather staying in feels better. You might not keep the same people in your life. The high school and college friends may or may not still be around. Your work friends also change as people come and go. I loved being a teacher and working with children. It was not just a job, but part of my identity for over 30 years.  

 I think living in a place that makes you happy and satisfied is so important. Finding people within that place will happen, if you are actively looking, and sometimes even by chance. Whether you get married or stay single, I believe you should always surround yourself with people who build you up. People who show you that they are there for you. Those are your people, whether they are related to you or not. I still believe this is true even at 56. 

I look back on my different addresses and know each one was so important in my personal growth and made me into the person I am now. I am happy about the places I lived, and the experiences I had in each one. Not that each day was perfect, far from it. I feel like if a place isn’t the right one, moving on makes the most sense. Choose the moves that make you happy and set you up for the next chapter. Keep people in your life to add to it and make you happy to be with them. Enjoy each phase of life you are in, even if it’s not perfect, because you’re only in it once.