In a number of my blogs I have referenced my mom. My mom is one of those people that usually has the answers, and whether you like the answer or not, she is likely going to tell you. Most of these answers are wrapped in wisdoms from days where I was hardly a thought, these ones are my favorite. Maybe some of them she saw through my sister and I’s eyes, waiting for her words to finally click. Waiting for the “you were right” text, call or conversation. From my end, there have been numerous times where my mom was right (whether my 16 year old self is ready to admit that or not). For instance, she picked out every prom dress I ever wore. I would think I was going into the appointment knowing exactly what I wanted and poof I was buying the dress she picked out because it always looked the best. So here I am, writing 5 lessons from my mom who is, usually, right.

1. “Don’t be a repeat offender”. This lesson rang in my head starting (mostly) around the age of 15. I was not great at being sneaky and was usually caught red handed doing something that I wasn’t supposed to. If I wasn’t caught then it didn’t take long for me to confess from the guilt. My mom always handled my mistakes with grace; you can make them, but don’t be a repeat offender. Once the lesson is learned move on. Which brings me to my next lesson-
2. “NEXT.” This is one of my favorites and probably one of my mom’s favorites to say to me. If a person isn’t reaching my standards, or a job is no longer serving me- I usually receive these 4 words. Through this lesson I have learned that it’s okay and natural to outgrow things. It also makes moving on feel a lot less serious. In a sense, I look at it like “so this isn’t working out anymore? Great, next!” We are constantly evolving, and behind every closed door is another one waiting to open.
3. “You can give people a piece of yourself, but you can’t be upset when you don’t get that piece back.” I’ll never forget these words, and quoted them in another blog. During this conversation I was going through a breakup that I felt I had given so much of myself to. In my head, I had done everything so why didn’t it work? When we give and give and give to other people, it has to be what we’re willing to not get back. Whether it’s the energy that we put in, the money, or the love- when it is coming from a genuine place then your exceptions for reciprocity shouldn’t be to get something. Do things out of love, not for love. And keep yourself whole so when you give those pieces, you don’t need them back.
4. “Be picky.” I still hear this one often. It’s important to be picky and selective about who is receiving our time, energy and love. I have learned (and am practicing) to be pickier about who is in my space or receiving my time. In order to do this I have to consult myself often on my own needs as well as the reality of other people. People often show you who they are early, and its our job to decide how picky we want to be, and if someone reflects our standards. It’s important to only be around people who lift you up and are on the same level as you.
5. “Love the people that seem hard to love.” My mom was a 4th grade teacher for 30 years. During this time, she would transform the lives of the kids that other people saw as a challenge. The kids with behavioral issues suddenly felt calm, the kids who were shy were suddenly out of their shell, the kids that felt “unlovable” were suddenly feeling loved. I remember having a conversation with my mom and asking her what the trick was and she said “I just show them that I like them.” When you take the label off of people and just choose to see them for what they show you, you remove the preconceived notions that have been holding them back from those who never gave them a chance. You allow them to be the person that they are when someone loves them. When you love others, they become the love that you show them.