I always know when the universe is trying to get me to think about a concept because she will show me it over and over until I finally sit down to think about it. Here is the latest- 

I was watching a tiktok of a woman who hypothetically asked “if someone followed you around all day, from when you woke up to when you went to bed, would this person then be able to tell someone else your morals, values, and goals based on your actions?” I instantly thought about this person watching me stare at my phone for hours of the day and felt sad. How are my goals, values, and morals reflected in watching someone else live their life? 

But then I took a step back and gave myself a little grace. I work out every morning before work. I just filled my first gratitude journal front to back as well as another daily journal. I cook well for myself! I pay my bills! I just started a new job! I am doing all the things. But I am not perfect, which allows me to keep going up.

It sounds mundane to insert a thesis on why our goals are not made up of the final achievement but rather the small practices of each day that get us there. “Enjoy the journey not the destination” says the wall art at Hobby Lobby. But it’s true, our goals are made in the small habits that we perform each day. Whether you are increasing your physical, mental, or financial stability, it all begins in how we talk to ourselves and how we show up. 

The best part about forming consistent habits is that it does come down to just showing up. To make the habit, you just have to do it. Remember, you’re not going to have the best workout of your life every single day. But you still worked out, you still showed up!

The next time I saw a similar message was from the book 101 Essays that will Change the Way you Think, it read “the real question is, what work are you willing to do even if no one is around to clap?” This time the message came to me differently, now no one is around to watch me inch closer to my goals- who am I when no one is looking? 

The answer to this question, ideally, is the exact same. But with the rise of social media, and especially the rise of short videos, when no one is looking, people are still watching. We post our highlights, or our good habits. So that when no one is around to witness that step towards our goals, they are still validating through the likes, comments, and views. But when we take away the invisible man watching us, or the thousands behind the screens, we have to ask who our behaviors are for and the intentions behind them.

A trend in this generation is the “glow up.” After a breakup or a life change, you seek getting prettier, more fit, a better boyfriend, out of revenge. People become attached to the idea of improving to make someone see that they missed out. They want to change their appearance to be noticed rather than to be enlightened. Here is the thing about glow ups, there is no end destination. It is always “when I am this weight! I will be happy” or “when my hair is this long! then I will be desired.” Once you achieve one surface level improvement, you are onto the next and never truly satisfied. The real glow up is achieving peace rather than validation. To find the love within yourself that you’re missing. The real glow up is learning how to clap for yourself.

On a journey of enlightenment your daily habits should include ways to listen to yourself (writing, meditating, therapy), ways to care for yourself (cooking, working out, self care) and ways to elevate yourself (reading, taking a class, learning a new skill). While sometimes we get stuck in the whirlwind of hearing other peoples voices, we have to be able to pick our own out of a crowd. We have to hear our own clap as the loudest.