“Everything always works out for me”- some people call it the lucky girl syndrome, others call it trusting in the universe, some trusting in God. Either way, everything always works out for me. I say this to myself probably 100x a day. Not because I don’t believe it and need to remind myself, but more so because it reminds me of something I know I am lacking…..patience. 

I have heard it my entire life “Be! Patient!” I can hear it in my mothers voice, my teachers’ voices, and now my own voice. When I want something I want it immediately: not tomorrow, not next week, now. So in reminding myself that everything always works out for me, it isn’t about luck but rather trusting that things come to me in their own time. And when they do, they are the exact right thing that I need at the exact right moment. 

I found myself saying it while I was waiting for my bag at baggage claim, I said it while looking for a parking spot in a busy part of the city, I said it when I was feeling stressed with work and not knowing my next steps. Everything always works out for me. Because it is a reminder that even if my bag takes a little longer to come out, it will come. And if it doesn’t, life goes on and everything in the bag will be replaced with stuff that is equally as good, if not better. 

This affirmation also pulls me back to the moment. Before I give myself time to be anxious about the future, it reminds me that it will work out. It closes the gap of the unknown between the present moment and the moment of certainty. As humans, we are constantly looking for evidence that we are okay. And within that search we need validation from others that shows us we are doing the right thing. Knowing that no matter what “everything always works out for me” helps to close that gap without all of the necessary validation. It fills the cracks of the unknown with certainty in yourself. 

I have had a lot of discussions of confidence vs self esteem and how one can coexist without the other. Confidence, to me, is from the way that you treat others, the decisions you make, who you choose to surround yourself with and last but not least, faking it. Whenever I have to walk into a room full of people that I don’t know, I think about the last time that I had to do this. I walked into the room with my shoulders back, introduced myself, and had a presence. This isn’t to say that I’m not nervous walking into that room, it is to say that I had done it before, confidently, and it was fine. And sometimes your first successful scenario comes from faking it. Then you realize you have done it again and again and you aren’t faking it anymore.

Another layer of confidence is knowing that no matter what happens to you, you will be okay. If you lose your job, if you have to move, if life suddenly doesn’t look the way that you had pictured- everything always works out for you. It is the deep rooted trust within yourself that allows you to roll with the punches. 

Now self esteem is a little more complicated. Confidence can come from faking it, whereas self esteem is the genuine practice of doing what is good for you. Self esteem is the ability to walk away from things that no longer serve you, and walking into opportunities that do. It is making the hard decisions with the vision of your highest self. Confidence may be rolling with the punches, whereas self esteem is taking yourself out of the match. 

The overlap between self esteem and confidence is the deep rooted trust in yourself.  Every time we put ourselves in a situation to practice that trust, we are proving to ourselves again and again that everything always works out for us. The bag always comes.