If I could have one thing be taken from the advice or the words that I give to others it would be to show up. I have quickly learned while living in Arizona away from everyone and everything that I love, that the world keeps spinning. The sun comes up each morning and there is a beautiful sunrise that most of us miss. There are little precious moments of families waking up and birds chirping and someone is about to have the best day of their life. Someone is also about to have the worst day of their life. But most of us are just about to have a pretty regular day that involves tiny moments that make up the space of exactly where we are meant to be. It is so easy to get wrapped up in these times and in your own problems that we forget to show up for others. 

I truly do believe that your 20s are your selfish years, and I encourage it. It is easy for me to preach that you should do everything for yourself and for your goals because in retrospect, you should. But here is where I want to reiterate a little bit. When we channel all of our focus into ourselves we create a tunnel vision mentality. When we are stuck in this version of ourselves and who we want to become, it is easy to forget our main purpose on this earth; to love. We get wrapped up in the money and the parties and the designer that our goals can become affiliated with what getting to that point can bring us. We lose our passion for what is right and what is true. With tunnel vision, there are no windows into the lives of others. It becomes harder to see what other people are going through and easier to focus on just yourself. 

I do see how a lot of times, in order to meet our goals, we do have to focus on ourselves. For instance, I moved to Arizona with only what could fit in my car, no job and no plan really. I did have to focus on myself, but I quickly learned that I needed others just as much as they needed me. I have said before about how this has been a challenging time for me but the only thing that has truly helped is others showing up. I am sure that most people reading this saw the instagram pictures of my friends and I in Chicago. It looked like a fun girls trip (and it was fun), it was something that was really needed for all of us. But the trip was planned because I was going through something really hard and needed my friends to show up for me. I needed my friends to come together in one of our favorite cities and be present with me. Without that weekend, I’m really not sure where I would be physically or mentally at the moment. All because my friends showed up. 

I found an entry that I wrote in highschool about things that I believed in. A lot of them at the time were things along the lines of “strawberries on my pancakes”, “love is love”, etc. But one of them really stood out to me. It said “I believe in going to the funeral.” The first time that I went to a funeral by myself I was a sophomore in high school. It was one of my friends from a neighboring school that I didn’t see very often but still felt a strong obligation to. My mom dropped me off and asked if I wanted her to come, I said no. This was the first time that I remember truly showing up for something that I knew was right. I believe in going to the funeral not only for the person who has passed, but more so for the family. When we break that tunnel vision we allow ourselves a chance to show up for others, however that may look. 

I wrote in the last blog about how there’s no rules. But I am here to say now that showing up is one of my rules. No matter how big or how small someone is going through something, if you love them, show up. Show up for them with flowers or a card, show up with a text message, show up to their house, show up with a flight, show up with a picture of that sunrise we always miss, however big or however small just show up. Because life is really too short to not put windows in your tunnel.