It is no secret that I spend a lot of time on social media. I post pictures, stories and interact with others’ posts and stories, as well. Lately I have spent a lot of time thinking about what social media means to me and who I want to be on social media. I have had these thoughts before and, at a different time, it was what influenced me to start this blog. To show that I am not JUST my highlight reel that I show. In the grand scheme of things, you could look at me and think that maybe we don’t have that much in common because you are always seeing me at my “best.” But I have bad days, my skin is far from perfect and not everyday looks like my best picture on Instagram. 

I was recently having a conversation about how sad it is that our generation grew up on social media. And I agreed, and I still agree. When you step back and realize how much pressure we all feel to look beautiful, successful and happy, it can be extremely overwhelming. Especially when you’re at the age trying to figure out exactly who you want to be. This can be confusing when you have thousands of accounts showing you who you’re “supposed” to be. Obviously the perks of social media are staying connected, showcasing our art and social selling. I can see all of these benefits but how do we decipher the content we’re consuming with how we feel about ourselves? 

I have had many moments on social media over the years where I see girls with perfect skin, a perfect body, a perfect relationship and thought “why can’t that be me?” The keyword with what I was seeing was “perfect.” I saw no flaws in the content that I was consuming because I wasn’t supposed to. On social media, people can portray themselves however they choose to, and why not make it perfect? The older I get the more I realize that very little of it is real and people show you exactly what they choose to. 

When we look at photos of influencers and celebrities we see the perfect, beautiful picture. We don’t see the photoshop, the makeup or the airbrushing blemishes. SO naturally, this creates a false narrative of beauty standards that translate into comparison. You see beautiful people who look “PERFECT” in every photo without realizing this is not the whole truth, just the truth they want you to see.

While consuming content that was making me question myself, I realized that I was always waiting for the next thing to change about myself. Having thoughts like “when my hair grows….” “when my skin clears up….” THEN I’ll be happy, THEN I’ll get the relationship I want. But it was never ending! Once one thing happened, then it was onto the next thing to change about myself. I could never be truly satisfied with this mindset. When I realized this, along with social media not being real, a lot of things changed for me on how I was viewing the content I saw on Instagram. 

I want you all to know that we are on this journey together. Feeling like you want to be  vulnerable/real while everyone else is being “perfect” is HARD. My first step to this process is knowing that I am doing it for myself and not for the validation of other people. I know that I want to adjust my social media presence because I want to be relatable. I want it to be known that this is not always easy and social media can be overwhelming. Additionally everything we post, to an extent, is for validation of other people. And when that intent is there and not received in the desired way it can be detrimental for your mental health. It’s important to remember when you are posting that someone is always going to hate it, be jealous or not agree. I personally have experienced it and grown from it. The two phrases that helped me the most were “I like me so I don’t care who doesn’t” and “other people’s opinions of you are none of your business.” But this mindset begins in real life, not social media. 

My next advice is to be honest, with yourself first and foremost. We all have to have those hard conversations and realizations. I used to love to post pictures that I wasn’t even in. Pictures that I just enjoyed! But it has slowly evolved into me posting pictures of my face, pictures to show that I’m pretty. But I would rather be honest and kind than pretty. This blog and instagram page have given me an outlet to work on breaking old habits. So let’s start thinking about social media, what do we look at pictures of primarily? What are the people that we admire post and why do we admire them? How can we be someone that we admire? I am also working on this. 

Lastly, we have to ask ourselves our intentions behind what we post and what we consume. I have channeled this practice for social media but also REAL. LIFE. I work on consuming content that is motivating, educational and uplifting but I also surround myself with these people as well. I have referenced the difference between social media and real life a couple times so far, so I would like to reiterate that social media IS NOT real life. This work begins when you put the phone down and look around. Realize that social media is 1. Not always real 2. Addictive and 3. Exhaustinggggggggg! As soon as we put in the work in real life, we can bring that work to social media and give a lot less fucks of what other people think of us. Surround yourself with others who are doing the same. This is a journey that we are all unknowingly on together. And we’re all really, really human in real life.