In true 2020 fashion, this post is overdue. But, here we go. 

Aside from the global pandemic, multiple examples of racial injustice and a monumental election, this year was a lot. I keep seeing tweets about our future history books, what they are going to say about 2020, the pictures they are going to show, and all the literal *shit* that happened. And it truly is appalling. This is the year that we will all look back on and remember for so many reasons. I decided I’m going to talk about what I learned this year because aside from what we endured, we made it. And I feel blessed to have learned along the way. (Disclaimer: I was fortunate this year to still have my family healthy and safe and my heart goes out to anyone who lost anyone). 

First I started this year having to move home because of the pandemic like basically everyone I know. Missing out on the second half of my last semester felt sad to me but I didn’t fully grasp the impact that COVID was going to have as a whole; in our country, on seeing my family and on my personal mental health. I have had to spend a lot of time alone and not living the life that I thought I would be at 22. Truly, I thought that at this point I would have a good job and be living my best life somewhere across the country. I have had to shift my standards for my expectations of myself so that I could accept that I am where I am supposed to be right now. The bar is still set high, but I have faith that things will happen when they are supposed to. 

I have talked before about God and about how I never used to rely on His timing. It didn’t seem logical to me. Now, although I haven’t had much of a choice, I do feel in my heart that good things are coming. So the first thing that I learned in 2020 is to be happy where I am. I have never really been a patient person and when I want things I want them right now. I have had to stop and look around and realize that there are lessons in this season and I am not done here yet. I have had so much time to elevate my standards, work on myself and figure out what it is that I truly want to do.

Which brings me to my next lesson. Before the pandemic my biggest goal was looking to the next weekend and thinking about what outfit I was going to wear to the bar. It sounds stupid to me now, but I never really thought ahead much. I have written before about how my mom used to tell me that opportunities “fall into my lap.” That I find good things when I’m not really looking for them. I always just figured that what I would do after college would come to me without putting much thought into it. When I realized that finding a job in a pandemic would most likely be literal hell (it is) I began to set firm goals for myself. It sounds so simple but I became goal orientated in every aspect of my life. Each day I write a list of my goals for the day on my white board. Even if they are simple (right now they are: make bed, workout, apply for jobs, finish book) to ensure that everyday I am accomplishing SOMETHING. It has really helped me to make a schedule in a time where I feel like I have “nothing” to do. 

The thing about becoming goal oriented is that you have to surround yourself around people with the same mindset. When you are trying to meet your goals but still hanging with people who do not 1. Meet your standards or 2. Care about different things, your goals will go on the back burner. This lesson has been so important to me in filtering who I want to bring with me in the next season. And I’ve said before that this can feel harsh, but only to those who are not on your level. It is inspiring to me when I am surrounded by others who are working on growth, their faith and their goals as a whole. If you find that it is hard for you to be goal oriented, I recommend looking around at who you’re surrounding yourself with. 

The one word that I really want to focus on in 2021 is intentionality. I want everything I do to be truly intentional. This includes who I surround myself with, the information I absorb, the jobs that I apply for, the words that come out of my mouth, the time that I spend on my phone and the things that I share on social media. It is so easy to mindlessly do things for hours during the day with no intentions on what you’re doing. For instance, I can literally look at my phone for hours. This is a habit that I am working on breaking but not without being intentional about what I am doing instead. 

I also have spent time with people in the past that I knew weren’t good for me. I would do it anyway because I feared being alone or not having anyone there. I am finally at the point where I would rather be alone than with someone who does not bring me peace. I am walking into 2021 knowing that everyone I spend time with is because I know I can still learn from them. I know that the people I surround myself with will be meeting my standards, goal orientated and ready to push me to be better. And I truly don’t want it any other way. 

2021 is off to a hectic, and somewhat scary, start. I am praying for our country to turn things around and love each other better. I have found that words can be healing and sometimes just typing them out can make what they say concrete. This year we are doing big things; starting businesses, writing, getting good jobs and traveling (post COVID). I believe that if 2020 was hard for you, that you aren’t alone and good things are coming. Although it may feel like things have not changed, they start when we start. So here we go, 2021.